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How Desperate Are You to Fail?

failure - a mustI came across a video on Youtube today, and it got me thinking. What if success is all about failing?

Come to think about it, each success is about failing at the right time (and the right amount of times).

I’ll make a good case study in regards to this.

A lot of people read this blog and benefit from the free advice I offer, but very few people know about the failure that gave birth to it.

It was in 2009, I was just finishing in high school and I was about to sit for my school cert exam.

I was a science student, and while I wasn’t the best in class, I was pretty confident about what I know. I sat down for 9 papers, I failed a good number of them including the critical ones; I failed Chemistry, I failed Physics, and I failed Math.

I was frustrated.

Right after I finished my Physics exam, I knew I was bound to fail it. I was pretty sure about passing Chemistry, though. I studied before the exam, and I was pretty sure about my answers to most of the questions.

You can imagine my frustration when I got the same D in both Chemistry and Physics when the result was out.  I was bewildered when I got the same score for both papers.

I know, this is where I should start complaining about how the education system is corrupt or how I was cheated. But I won’t, because it was a good thing, actually.

I had an epiphany then. I knew I never wanted to work for anyone, I never even believed in the educational system of my country, so why let another person grade my abilities at succeeding in life?

One thing I haven’t said, though, is that I hate reading. Or at least, I hate reading school books. I don’t hate reading in general. I’ve spent as much as 7 hours in a day reading sometimes, but those were books of my choice, not something I was being forced to read to pass some exam.

Dealing With the Shame

In a nutshell, I didn’t take my failure lightly. Like most students that fail their school cert exams, I had to deal with the shame. I had to look for a way to explain to all those who had prayed that I would pass.

It was then I made the best decision I have ever made in my life. I started blogging, and I decided that I wouldn’t retake the exam unless I succeeded at it.

I went online and spent 20 hours creating my first website. I kept at it for a few months and discovered it wasn’t the best approach. I soon discovered blogging. I knew I had no choice but to succeed at it. I kept at it for 8 solid months without making a penny, working an average of 12 hours a day, every day, building my blog.

I never thought for a moment about giving up. I knew it had to work, because I had no other choice.

Little did I know that I was learning a lesson in success, one I hope this article helps you learn, too.

On Success, Failure and Persistence

If you read my story above carefully, you will notice 4 things.

My Epic Failure: I had been walking the same road every other kid walked. It was: go to school, get good grades and get a job. I knew something wasn’t right with this, or I knew it wasn’t for me. But I didn’t have the courage to face my mother. Even if I did, I didn’t have the courage to face society.

Failure taught me a major lesson; that life isn’t about pleasing everyone, but living it for yourself. I have been brought up to work hard and be graded by other people, and as such I had to believe I wasn’t better than what other people thought of me.

Even though I was so certain about that Chemistry test, I got the same grade as the Physics test I was sure I would fail. How was that for a coincidence?

Failure taught me that life isn’t about waiting to be graded. It is about looking for what you want, focusing on it and doing it over and over until you succeed.

Changing Course: I already had a road planned for me from the day of my birth, and it was the same “go to school” road planned for almost any kid today. Of course, my parents aren’t wrong. After all, they only wanted the best for their kid. Failing my school cert exam taught me that success isn’t about travelling a road designed for me. It isn’t even about pleasing my parents, but looking for my own road and being the master of it.

Persistence: After changing course and discovering what I love, I had to keep at it or face the shame of being a failure again. I willingly put in thousands of hours before making my first cent online, but I knew it was what I loved to do, and I wasn’t willing to give up on it.

This isn’t just about making that first cent, but about the satisfaction of knowing that I’m not destined to be a failure. This isn’t about making a few bucks, but about knowing that I’m the master of my own destiny; not the one that my parents created for me, nor the society for that matter.

It is about success, and about giving what it takes.

For me, it only took 8 months, but I know I would’ve still continued – even if I didn’t get any results after two years.

Success: This was what I’ve been working for, and everything above led to it. Even the failure. In fact, the failure was the most important part of it, because I wouldn’t have had the courage to start my own course if I didn’t experience that failure in the first place.

By failing that exam, what the whole world saw was a failure, but what really existed was success in disguise.

My Message

Every failure is a sign that success is near. Every success is backed by persistence, and you can’t really succeed until you find your own course.

Whether it is at writing or any other thing, you have to fail over and over again before you succeed.

The good thing about success is that you will have that confirmation that it is near, no matter how much you’re failing. You’ll have the confidence that you’re doing the right thing.

If the only thing enticing you to the career you’re pursuing  is the huge income you see others making, (but you have no conviction it’s your course) you’re probably wasting your time at it. Because no matter how much you succeed at it, you will never be fully satisfied.

However, if the career you’re pursuing right now is truly the one of your making, you will always be satisfied no matter how many times you fail at it. Deep down inside, you know you will!

If you love this post and think it is inspiring, kindly share it with a friend or two. It will surely have an impact on them!

PS. For those who are wondering, I eventually retook that exam and succeeded at it – but only after I was getting results from my blogging.

PPS. The video I mentioned above is currently trending online, and I think you should check it out!

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Category: writing, youngprepro

19 Comments on "How Desperate Are You to Fail?"

  1. Amit Shaw says:

    Hi Oni,
    I am agree with you that we have to fail over and over again before we succeed.
    We should learn from our mistake.
    For me your all post is inspiring. Already Tweeted ::).
    Thanks.

  2. Pooja says:

    hi Oni, i like your writing style.in this post you really good explained about failed and try to recover problems.

  3. Koundeenya says:

    I’ve just started my career and hope it goes well. I dont get demoted by failure. May be i can survive it. Thanks for letting me know

  4. Kalen@Learn Internet Marketing says:

    Hey Oni,

    I am glad to hear what you said. I don’t see this so much as failing, more about seeing that everything happens for a reason. You failed at something that you weren’t destined to do at that particular time. It may be discouraging at first, but it helped you find your real passion after. Your message is inspirational, because I think it is far more about sticking it out and realizing that if you stick with things then you can achieve your dreams. Maybe not the dreams you have at the moment, but the ones you are destined to fulfill down the road.

  5. Goa casinos says:

    Hi,

    This is the post which have each and every thing regarding ups and downs in life but we shouldn’t stop himself to do that thing on which we are sure yes we will do it.

    All points have many things to learn but i impressed by the last one where you mentioned many things in “”My Message””.

  6. Abishek Rana @ The Blogger's Way says:

    Hi Oni,

    Very moving article here. I guess I could relate to what you just wrote. Back in high school, I also failed at every major subjects in Science, because I didn’t get it. Choosing science subject was not my own decision. I did it just to please my brother. Then, again doing Bachelors in Computer was not my passion either. I found that later. But it was my teacher’s decision.

    Then, I decided that I would decide myself. I thought I join and learn language. Right now, I am taking Masters in English Literature, because I love foreign culture, languages, and literature. I know I am passionate about writing about art, rather than program codes. I am more happy now. I think the ultimate decision lies in our own hands of what we want to become. This is one of the illuminating life’s lesson that we shouldn’t forget.

    And, I really want to succeed in writing/blogging. So, I won’t trade with anything else! I’ll keep on keeping on.

    Thanks for sharing your ‘words of wisdom’. It helps me keep coming back!

  7. Seby says:

    Great post Oni!
    you’re still be the best!

  8. Navneet says:

    Well Oni next great post. Only thing i am assured is you will never fail .haha. Bye the way visited your blog after many days. Green Green….

  9. Well Oni, like One the author of think and grow rich once said that success is born out of failure. All great successful men had many failures but learn their lessons from the many times they failed and just applied those lessons to their careers. Success is born from failure and if you are desperate to fail, it is a sign that you want to become successful by learning from your failures.

  10. Seoexp says:

    hello Oni!
    Your story inspire me a lot. I am surprise how talented are u!

    Thanks with Regards,
    Seoexp @ Hosting

  11. Jeff the Entrepreneur says:

    Hi Oni,

    The most successful people are those who failed the most! Thanks for this article. And by the way, thanks for making yourself available for the interview. I posted it yesterday on this link.
    http://www.growbankaccount.com/interview-with-bamidele-onibalusi/

  12. Sabrina Sabino says:

    I believe that we all experience failure at some point in our lives. Some people will not learn the lesson, and some people will. It’s inspiring to read that a young boy of your age decided to persevere and found success as a result. Keep it up! 🙂

  13. Rosey says:

    Totally agreed!
    I never feel shame in exam failure may be it’s reason that i was hardly face failure.
    but in real life, & in different conditions no doubt failure is cause of learning but some times its really hurts.

  14. Android Application Development says:

    I like how you look at failure as a sign of future success.
    At the end it just about taking things the right way. Some people get depressed on failure and never come back.. Others, learn and take it as an opportunity to reach their final success and get there.
    Great post !

  15. kehinde says:

    I agree with you;I knew very well that something is wrong with School generally even before I later read that Great book written by “Robert T. Kiyosaki” but it was not clear to me, now, I am just going to have to go to school to earn degree just to gain more recognition in the society not to become rich anyway. But what if someone is not really sure of what he/she really wanted how would you advise such person.

    • juhi says:

      Hey u talking abt kiyosakis rich dad poor dad

  16. how to geek says:

    Great post failers need a guide for success.

  17. Becca says:

    When we fail that’s the time we learn and strive to achieve our
    goals. Excellent post! thanks for the share.

  18. juhi says:

    Hey one this is so inspiring thank you so much i m indebted to you for posting this can i have ur e mail btw u on fb under wht name kindly tell me ud luv 2 talk 2 u

Onibalusi

Welcome! I'm Bamidele Onibalusi, a young writer and blogger. I believe writers are unique and highly talented individuals that should be given the respect they deserve. This blog offers practical advice to help you become truly in charge of your writing career.

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