Do you write guest posts for other blogs but can’t seem to get anyone to say yes? This is the first blogging lesson designed specifically to make your life twice as hard, cut your back-links by half, and reduce your potential earnings by as much as fifty percent. If you’re already engaging the elements below, congratulations, you’re well on your way to sabotaging yourself! Before we begin this course, let’s look at a life lesson that will change your motoring habits forever.
Do you know the best way to halve your car’s chance of getting scratched while parked at a public car park? Forget parking close to the entrance! If you want to cut the chances of your car being scratched by as much as half, park next to a wall or a pillar. Now I’ve said it to you this makes perfect sense, right? This is no magic formula. If you make it difficult for people to get round one side of your car, they can’t scratch it.
Apply this to your writing, and let’s see how you can throw a ‘pillar-punch’ at your productivity. Please note: ‘pillar-punch’ is a word created specifically for this post. It means writing in such a way as to erect a blockage against the finished work. You’ve seen it first here on YPP!
Write without an audience in mind
So you’ve got your eye on a big blog in your niche. You’d give anything to see your name and article on their pages. Here are some ways you can halve your chances and pillar-punch your likelihood of ever being published there.
- Read only 5 articles on the blog. Better yet, just skim those articles, but best of all, read only the headings of the posts written by other guest bloggers without reading their stuff. If you don’t know what that pro blogger accepts from other writers, you’ll never know what he/she might accept from you.
- Don’t pay any attention to the comments on the blog posts. This is perfect because you’ll never know how the people who interact with that blog think, what they’re like or what sort of questions they ask.
- Whatever you do, never, ever look at what’s hot on that blog on which you want to guest post. This will definitely halve – if not kill your chances of being published there. If you don’t know what the existing readers are finding helpful, you won’t know what topics the blog owner wants to concentrate on in the future – too perfect.
- Definitely write longer posts than the blog usually publishes. After all, the blogger would’ve worked for years to research what kind of posts his/her audience is comfortable reading. You jumping in and boring the guts out of them is just what your post needs for a good, sound, pillar-punch.
Write sloppy articles
This is one of the best ways to halve your chances of publishing your guest post. Blogs that have great articles are wallowing in Internet sawdust as we speak. If they are not being read, what chances has a blog with sloppy writing got? So, okay, many Americans may not like my turn of phrases because most of them are British. This is not what I’m referring to (nor am I addressing the way I spell ‘colour’). I’m talking about publishing posts with little or no helpful information and writing articles which haven’t been given the once-over for grammatical and/or spelling mistakes. Here are some sure ways of slapping your guest post with a generous dose of that famous pillar-punch.
- Write all your articles about the same thing. Spin them then try to pass them off on every blog you’d like to guest post on.
- And here’s one of the key factors (you mustn’t forget this one). Whiplash into a writing-frenzy and never take the time to edit your posts. Your pro blogger friend – the one whose blog you want to publish on – will edit your posts for you. Oh yes he/she will! It’s their blog after all. Any less-than-perfect editing work will reflect negatively on their business, not yours. This is one thing that never fails when it comes to rejecting guest posts on my blogs. If I’ve got to practically re-write the article, I won’t accept it.
- Go over the blogger’s published articles. Copy one of his/her own points on every article he/she’s published on a particular topic, and present them as a unique piece of your work. Bloggers tend to forget their own original creations, so will never suspect foul-play when you turn up with thoughts resembling their own.
Resort to shameless tactics
If you can’t cut your chances of being published by half with any of the above ways, these points below will certainly do the trick. Shameless tactics won’t ever let you down.
- Send your blogger in question a guest post request littered with cut and paste material you’ve used elsewhere. Feel free to use various fonts of different sizes and colours in the same email. Pillar-punch your letter with spelling mistakes and grammatical issues. You can’t take time to write a 100-word letter, but you’ll definitely take time to write an 800-word post. Big time bloggers are ‘down with this’.
- Send a guest post request letter to your blogger telling them you’ve read and followed the blog for ages and explain how much you admire their work. You can explain that the reason they’ve never heard of you is not because you’ve never wanted to leave a comment on their blog. It’s just because you’re a shy, retiring kind of creature. Just like ‘chicks’, bloggers dig that jazz.
- Address your guest-post request letter to ‘Webmaster’ or ‘Blogger’. Bloggers – especially the big guys and gals – love to be called Webmaster. It makes them feel respected. It’s like a ‘Lordship’ or something – only more special.
We’ve come to the end of our course on how to cut your chances of being published by half. This is the best course of this nature online. Follow this and your guest post may never be published again.
Please note: conditions may apply, refunds and tissues not included.
Anne Lyken-Garner is a published author, freelance writer, blogger and editor. She writes for, and manages 4 blogs and edited The Writers Bureau online student magazine for 2 years. You can read more about Anne at her writing blog, A Blogger’s Books, where you can check out her How To Write An Article series and her inspirational book, Sunday’s Child.